The Quiet Expectation

There is a quiet expectation that new Mums must lock themselves away and reside themselves to a life of solitude and observance. That in order to be a “good” Mum, we must forgo everything from our previous life, including our social life. A new Mum shouldn’t need a babysitter, or a night out. A new Mum shouldn’t have a drink or get a hangover. A new Mum shouldn’t get her hair done, or go for a spray tan, and she certainly shouldn’t return to work too soon! That’s selfish, irresponsible and detrimental to baby. A good new Mother pumps, washes, cleans, folds, nurtures and sleeps with baby firmly attached.

On the other side of the coin, our society has normalized and encouraged new Dad’s to go out and “wet the babies head”, which is another term for “go out with the boys and get blind drunk”. And we all know that the image of ‘beer’ and ‘Dad’ go together like ‘laundry’ and ‘Mum’.

My problem with these social ideaologies is that we, as new Mums, are expected to completely give ourselves up as a person. Why must becoming a Mum mean we are no longer a human being? Yes, our priorities change when we become parents. Doing sambuca shots at the club whilst dropping it to The Black Eyed Peas no longer interests me.

But in order to be the best Mum, I need to be my best self. If that means going to the gym, or having a date night, or getting a babysitter, or having a few glasses of champagne at your cousin’s 40th, then do it! Sure, that hangover might not be worth it when baby wants to play peek-a-boo at 4am in the morning, but those karaoke memories will live on forever.

Becoming a Mum has been the most terrifying and beautiful experience of my life. I never thought I could love somone so much. He has encompassed every aspect of my life, and I love him all the more for it. But every now and then we need a reminder that we are these fragile, funny, sexy, fun people, who need to love ourselves just as much as our kids. Being a “good” Mum is simply just being a happy Mum.

PHOTO DISCLAIMER: Daddy had baby for the afternoon so Mummy could go on a boat and drink champagne like the classy queen she is. đź‘‘

Published by lexieking

Writer, business owner, proud wife and mum to one.

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